1991

Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. That which is soft is strong.

- Lao-Tzu (600 B.C.)

1991 was the last time I was anywhere near a canoe...I was at Algonquin Park and the canoe was used for storage, so our canoe training at Kelso was another "Amy in the headlights" moment for me (- very similar to our mountain bike training.) The weather was outstanding. I love, love , love the heat. I rarely get a chance to spend time outdoors when it is smokin' hot because I always have the total pleasure of being with my awesome, beautiful daughter and she is, understandably, not a lover of the heat. I am also completely amazed by the water. Water is a magnet for my imagination, for conscious pondering and subconscious dreams, thrills, and fears. I can stare into moving water and be completely captivated much like when when gazing into a camp fire,  so,  being taught the safe and effective ways to move across the water in a canoe was phenomenal. I also was able to spend the afternoon and make memories with Shannon...who is one wicked chick! We paddled from one end of Kelso to the other, learned to turn our boat without "taking the scenic route " and battled head to head with the other girls in a few friendly competitions. All so good!
I watched the canoeing video today...every time I watch a new weeks training video I sit with my daughter and we watch it together. I explain every little detail to her , tell her who is who and we discuss the importance of safety, team work and make tons plans for the future when she is a little bit older to try all of these wicked disciplines together. After we watched the video from yesterday, she looked up at me with her pure and innocent hazel eyes and said..."I'm so proud of you Mommy"...so even if I don't win this contest...believe me I've already won!
                                            I love you Izzy!

"This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure." - Winston Churchill

This particular training had been a long time coming...and NOW I understand why. Anything less than the perfect conditions could result in disaster and Thursday was anything but a disaster. Mother Nature totally had her game face on and gave us the go ahead with our mountain bike training at Lions Valley. CRAZY! We pulled into the parking lot where the team was meeting and it became all too obvious that this was so not Kansas anymore...I forgot my ruby slippers, my DRY ruby slippers, so clicking my heels 3 times and going home was out of the question. I was delighted to see Susie. I find strength and composure just being in her presence. And, she was the only one who I let know how truly intimidated I was of the bike training...and...guess what she did...she laughed...in my face (in a good way)...AND YOU KNOW WHAT? Just seeing her laugh (even at me) made me laugh, and shake, and then I barfed in my mouth a little. We had a lesson on the basics of shifting gears, suspension and handling curbs, then a warm up and away we went. We were on our bikes for maybe " 50 meters" when sweet Szerenka bravely attempted to jump her first curb and was thrown right over her handle bars...I laugh now, because I know she is okay but at the time I was just beside myself...I have NEVER been mountain biking and in the first 3 minutes I see Szerenka go flying past me WITHOUT her bike...Ok. Really? I am so outside of my comfort zone at this point that I just stood their for a brief moment thinking to myself..."and this is supposed to be the easy stuff!?! Oh I am SO screwed" The next challenge was learning how to handle a steep incline...but to get up the hill you must first go down. I managed to get down the hill and 3/4 of the way up the first time, and then it was Keri's turn. OMG! Again, I laugh because she survived, but seriously!? I have never seen a wipe out like that...she was like the ball in the pinball machine, and yet, she got up and laughed...BRAVO KERI! We were then escorted safely down the valley and onto some relay racing- which was amazing. This gave me a little glimpse into what AR actually feels like...Sorry Sharon. We then followed a trail along the river- and...I fell. And that's okay! I totally expected to completely buff out at some point and to land on thick grass and mud was just fine by me! At the end of this trail was a bend in the river...it was actually a really beautiful sight...we were challenged to cross the river carrying our bikes to win a SUUNTO heart monitor. I applaud both SHARON and NEIL for getting more than their shoes wet during this challenge and I hope you are both feeling okay today. Riding back up the valley was a trick. SHANNON was able to do it not only once, but twice. I look forward to seeing your new sneaks Shan! The ride home was awesome! It was just reaching dusk and I felt really thankful for having been given the chance to be so far outside of my comfort zone I couldn't even see it...I think it was about "50 meters"away...

TrailAR Park Girls

(yes, yes...I know- it's trailER...but for the purpose of this blog it is spelled TrailAR)

I typically don't think about my blogs...when the opportunity presents itself I sit down @ my computer and fill the page with words...secretly hoping that they make sense. People say that I often write how I speak, so ...put on your best Amy voice and carry on...READY?
WOW ... today was totally UNBELIEVABLE, FANTASTIC, AMAZING! So much so, that when I thought about blogging, I was feeling slightly petulant...not because I didn't want to share my thoughts with you about today's AR training, but because putting it down on paper takes away some of the magic, losing some of it's enchantment. THAT is how AWESOME it was...
Trail running @ Kelso today was mostly single track...we were instructed by Susie to go @ our own pace...make it our own...(maybe I just made that up but I'm pretty sure I kept  hearing her say that over and over in my head.)  We covered various terrains and covered a number of different trails...SO WICKED!  All of the girls did SO WELL!  Once again, Sharon rocked her run in her blue jeans...which still to this day totally astounds me...Susie spent time running and chatting with each of us individually. sharing words of encouragement and amusing anecdotes. Who does that? Oh right...Susie does, because that is how committed and caring she is. OK, Beverly-Ann... Helllo??? You slayed those trails...you put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward! BRAVO! You should be so proud of yourself!  I didn't want to stop trail running today. Mother Nature was totally on board and there was this crazy energy amongst the team that was almost palpable. Being with the "TrailAR Park Girls" today gave me momentum to be the best Amy I could be today...and that is what life is all about...I know, I know- this turned out way  more sugary than I expected...hmmm...maybe that is why I have welts the size of grapes all along my hair line and ears...I don't know WTF kind of little asshole insect that was that kept biting me but at least I know why... because you ladies exude sweetness, and I ...attract bugs.  Thanks for the awesome memories we made today! MUAH!
Now stop talking like me...you are freakin' me out!

LOST : SENSE OF DIRECTION...FOUND : SENSE OF DIRECTION...

So...here's the thing...

May is a really, really opressive month for me...If I could skip from the end of April to the beginning of June...I would.  I unexpectedly lost my Mom on May 3rd 2005 when I was 3 months pregnant, Mother's Day is May 9th, and her birthday is May 12th...so it is like a Bermuda triangle of anguish for me...and it is also extremely trying on those around me as I don't manage my sorrow that effectively. I have a tendency to walk around with this black cloud over my head, in a daze, simply waiting for the month to end so I can EXHALE...
Driving to RSP today, I was feeling despondent and withdrawn. Last week was unbearably tough and add to that the emotional obstacles I personally confront during this month, I had lost my sense of direction...everything took a back seat to my hardship...the concept of moving forward with my training for this race was so far off my radar that I became indifferent ...but...remembering that I embarked upon this journey to prove a point to my awesome,beautiful daughter I sucked it up and got out of the car. The first person I saw was Susie. Sweet, sweet Susie...so brave, so strong, so inspiring...then I saw Connor ...aaaand...he sniffed my crotch. For those of you who don't know who Connor is, he is Susie's handsome black lab...not just some random guy going around sniffing crotches. Shane was there as well as Tracey, Beverly-Ann , Szerenka and Bryan Connel - our trainer for the day...who btw...has the patience of a Saint and will likely go home today and ask himself..."WHAT just happened?" Bryan led us through some basic theory of orienteering and the dynamics of a compass...OK, seriously , this guy was so amazing, so tolerant, so composed and level headed...not an easy task when faced with 4 women who admittedly have ZERO understanding of orienteering and compasses...so..long story short, in 3 hours, we successfully navigated our way through RSP using a map and a SUUNTO compass, located various check points, admired some trillium's, lost a set of keys, learned about liver cleansing AND had the pleasure of being offered Shane's NUTS!...SO WICKED! I will NEVER forget today...today I recaptured my sense of direction. Today I EXHALED.